An interesting topic was brought up. I was in my AP Language and Comp class, and we generally write daily journal logs to start off our morning. After about the first several months, a quote was given for us to interpret as we wished.
""I see no virtues where I smell no sweat." -. Francis Quarles
I interpreted that without hardships, your best is never truly met. In my opinion, I feel improvement is a much rewarded trait, rather than an individual that has the ability but lacking the potential of passion and striving for greater. For one example, I have a classmate - intelligent, bright, and spends every waking hour on homework/studies. However, she won't use her knowledge to her advantage and strive for the best.
Education, value, and worth is judged and labeled upon your intelligence, strengths, and perfection - however, in my opinion, I feel that those that have struggled through hardships, experienced downfalls and rough patches, and hoping for success truly deserve recognition.
Grades shouldn't determine if you're a well-rounded student or 'qualified' for a certain university. I feel as though many Universities overlook the qualifications only dependent on their intelligence - but not the whole idea. Talent agents and music scouts search mostly in big areas, but forget that talent is located everywhere. They often miss great talent because they overlooked their images and society's expectations for what a good role-model or celebrity should be.
In my overall opinion, being the best doesn't prove your worth, determined to be the best does in my book.
It amazes me how pride gets in the way of certain individual's mindsets. I'm quite a forgiving person, and it's mind blowing to know that all it would take for certain circumstances to be changed - ends with one word 'sorry.' Being a simple-minded being, that's all it really takes for me to put differences aside and grudges to rest. That one word goes a long way. It definitely shows me that you are aware of your mistakes, and that your pride means less than my existence. Apologizing isn't such a difficult task, esppecially since those in the wrong - fail to use it. These beings would rather avoid the entire ordeal and situation, than set things right and stable with one simple word.
Words make a difference, even just one. The difficulty of the use of one word is surprising, because just one word could nearly solve an issue, yet I hardly hear it. Pride, status, humiliation all factor in with such simple situations - why spend the rest of your life being angry only due to the fact that another is angry at you?
Grudges aren't created out of the blue, they're created on the selfishness of our behaviors.
If you're wrong, simply apologize.
I had a conversation with a person about musicians in general. An interesting view on the topic was brought up. He told me that every musician had an emotional issue. Whether being bipolar to emotionally unstable. He mentioned that without that emotional baggage or low self esteem, musicians couldn't necessarily be musicians. At first I disagreed of course, taking a slight offence to his opinion, especially since I fall under the category. However, I looked at this in another perspective. I sort of agreed.
I am currently constructing a research paper of my choice in AP Language and Comp. I thought momentarily and decided to settle with Marilyn Monroe. My topic was how society had molded her, and how her image is misleading. She, herself is a musician. Marilyn wasn't typically well-known for her singing talent, however, she had dealt with emotional struggles and self-loathing. Most people generally overlook that aspect of Marilyn Monroe. She seemed perfect: beautiful, talented, and had sex appeal. However, she had severe depression and the fear of abandonment. Now, there is another star that personally inspires me. She was completely hated and disliked due to her lack in acting. Her gap was ridiculed and throughout her years in fame, under the lime light - laid a struggling teenager. Demi Lovato is one star that I particularly love. Considering she brought herself into treatment and went public about her issues.
Lastly, I reflected on myself. It was true. I have unstable emotions I can be at my happiest moment and have it completely torn down to depression in a matter of seconds. I admit without the insecurity, depression, and layers of low self esteem - I couldn't put meaning into a song. There wasn't a single song that didn't deal with my own personal experiences and struggles. This also ties in with society. How naive we all are to overlook each other. We all make assumptions and we all are hypocrites. But it all boils down to one thing: whether you are under the label of anything: cheerleader, football player, wealthiest family, highest educator - we all have problems, and we all judge those problems based on the stereotypical labels.
One reason I am drawn to music, is not only due to the passion and goals, but mostly because when you feel lonely, obscured, withdrawn - you have something to keep you company. When misery is your companion, music is an escape to that depression. Many artists take fame and music as a joke, when the only joke is that society allows them to do so.
In my AP Pyschology class she brought up two words: mind and experience. Is there a difference between a brain and a mind? Or is the brain made up of a mind? Are memories lost for an eternity, can we never recover them? I answered yes. Memories, thoughts, feelings all contribute to your mind. It's impossible to view someone's appearance and uncover their emotions. After contemplating the question, I believe that there is a ghost in the machine. If the machine is broken, the ghost can never be uncovered again. That spirit, soul, and voice inside of you isn't read physically but on another level.
Quite frankly, I am beyond thankful for our mindsets and different views and perspectives. Usually when reflecting on thoughts and experiences, I connect it with the passing of time. Every single detail in your life contributes to the individual you've become. Every single loss, moment, experience were collected to create you. Once you die, life eventually moves on. That's exactly what memories are for, so that although your physical body and figure is dead, your memories and thoughts are what keeps you alive. Those memories are forever playing in the minds of others, and even if you've lost something or someone - they're still there.
Is there a ghost in the machine? The true answer to that question is, the ghost makes up the machine. We and our experiences make up ourselves. So without the ghost, there's definitely no machine that exists.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” -Elizabeth Kubler Cross
I am rather ashamed at the mindsets of certain people.
There are people I know who could care less about this day. People who insist that they don't remember the day, how it never affected them, how they aren't proud of America.
Regardless of all of those things combined - It's life. Life was taken away that day, whether you knew them or not. Whether you love or are proud of your own country - life was taken away innocently. People only feel sympathy for others when it's their love, or their loss as well. Although given the fact that most people can faintly remember when this attack happened, or whatever the reason, respect the day.
There's no need to bad mouth it, no need to talk about it, no need to mention it if you don't necessarily care.
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I was young at the time that this took place. I was in elementary school, and we were asked to have a moment of silence. I was unaware of anything. No clue. Just a girl that was confused as to what was happening, and why we were asked to do this randomly that afternoon. I wouldn't understand until years later, and reflect upon that afternoon, that thousands and thousands of lives were taken for no cause.
It mostly effects me, 9/11, due to the fact that if this day had never occurred - we wouldn't have learned to protect ourselves on flight. We would have sat everyday on a plane without the understanding that lives are at risk everyday. We all would take the security systems a joke and not pay close attention or check thoroughly for weapons/suspicions, or for the most part, taking care of yourselves.
Although this day was one of the most tragic days in history, without that bit of history - we all wouldn't have learned.
Everyone notices big signs in their life through the misfortunes of others. We learn to protect and be grateful of the ones we love when another hadn't. We take hints and mistakes from past relationships, death/losses, tragedies and learn from them.
Maybe this day doesn't mean anything to you, but it does when you're given such a red flag to be grateful that everyday you have someone you love in your life at this moment. A red flag that you shouldn't take for granted the people or things you have in your life - to cherish them.
I heard Vanessa Carlton's new album came out months ago - unfortunately I was on vacation at the time to fully sit down and listen to her.
I kept a note to remind myself to take a listen again. She has such an influence on me, and it really does touch my heart to know that she's still making music.
Although she isn't as popular or particularly following the style of artists today - that's exactly what I love about her. Her lyrics, piano, style is all and all warming to the soul.
I usually don't get easily excited,
but she really has made an impact on me.
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Music has taken a leap through time. With every generation there's always that new sound - which in particular seems to be techno/trance/dance music lately. Although I have no problem with the music of today, It really is uplifting to go backwards in time and listen to the change in sound. How different everything has been.
It's very difficult to find an artist that can truly impact you, to name a few: Adele, Florence and the Machine, Mumford and Sons, The Script. Whenever I listen to the radio and hear songs that hold a secret meaning ; example: Foster the People, it's like an epiphany.
Music isn't dead. Listening to music will always give you that same meaning: with time, things change. Life changes, music changes, you change. Although your life only shortens with each breath you take, it's always nice to appreciate and notice the little things.
At times I feel as though I look like a little boy. I go to school and compare myself to other girls, and it's rather depressing. The fact that I feel that I can only truly feel feminine or beautiful if I have wonderful hair, makeup, and contacts. Although I don't regret shaving the side of my head, I do at times feel as though I can't truly feel pretty without both sides, shoulder length and curled to the point where it's damaged. I feel as though I'll always have to wear contacts, because glasses make me feel self conscious. Do I look like a girl someone would acknowledge? If I don't wear makeup, will they notice how awful my skin looks? If I wear a t-shirt, skinny jeans, and hightop sneakers - would they think I'm trying to be something I'm not?
Others tend to place labels on me due to the fact that I underdress and at times dress a certain way. The word 'hipster' is one word I can't stand. Because I wear large glasses, or wear certain things doesn't make me one. That word is overused and overrated. People expect me to be the party, drinking, wild type because of my outgoing and social personality. People expect me to pierce my skin, and/or listen to certain types of music because I shaved the side of my head.
Since when did being human mean having to have a label suddenly? Since when did I compare myself to others and overlook myself? Image is something that still provokes insecurity. I'm not anything. I'm just a junior, that can be whatever I want to be a certain day. I'm just any musician that listens and sings any genre of music. I won't have to apply myself to one specific idea, because then my life would be based on wanting to look/act/feel a certain way - when being myself is good enough. Currently listening to:
We all know what today is. 
